Girl Monsters

When my son was younger, I used to joke around about what a nightmare I was going to be when he started dating. Actually, since he was a toddler, the thought of all of the women who would come into his life, those that would capture his heart, and the ones that would break it, definitely gave me pause at times, wondering how I would be able to handle it.

Girls can really suck. And teenage girls, well I was one, and I know how horrible I was to the boys who captured my fancy, so I was dreading the day when “girls” would find their way onto his radar. The only thing I hoped beyond hope was that he wouldn’t bring home a bimbo. That was really the only thing I saw myself totally freaking out about, if he started dating some air headed twit, just because she was hot. That pretty much goes against everything I believe in, and how I raised him, to see the inner beauty in people and to admire strong women. From his youngest years, his favorite super heroes were Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Xena, Warrior Princess. Strong females surrounded him in real life and in the TV shows we watched. It wasn’t completely purposeful, and I figured it couldn’t hurt. But then there was this inexplicable interest in Baywatch for a short time, which always left a hint of concern…

Anyway, bimbos… Yeah, I just don’t see being able to be nice to one. But I realized it was a bridge that would just need to be crossed if it presented itself, and I had to have faith in the child I raised. So freshman year came and went, and then sophomore year too. He was still more interested in playing video games with his friends than hanging out with any girls. Huh. Hmm… Was I worrying about the wrong thing? Was he just not there yet? Was this something he wasn’t going to talk to me about?

For several different reasons, my son ended up spending his summer in Cape May with my mom. He was able to get a job working construction for a friend of mine, which meant he would be making good money, working his butt off, learning new skills, and most importantly, staying out of trouble. It was extraordinarily difficult for me to be without him for so long, I missed him dearly, and he missed home and his friends, but in the end it seems to have been a really good thing, for both of us.

With this new life experience he was having, working at his first real job, he was experiencing being a man in a way that he hadn’t yet before. In honor of that, he decided to grow a beard. He had been shaving his head, real short, for about a year, and I had one rule about it. The hair on his face could not be longer than the hair on his head, so at least if he was going to keep going for the tough guy look, he was going to have to be clean shaven. So when he decided to grow the beard, the hair on his head grew longer as well. The first time I went to visit I was completely shocked. He had a beautiful head of hair, and a full on beard, which I didn’t think was even possible for a 16 year old (apparently that’s from the Italian bloodline on his father’s side). He looked great, but a hell of a lot older than the boy I had left there just a few weeks before.

We went out to dinner that night at The Rusty Nail, one of our favorite Cape May hangouts. When he ordered a frozen Coke, the waitress asked him if that was the non-alcoholic kind or the one with rum? O.M.G. He thought it was hilarious. Me, not so much. I made it clear that he was way underage, just in case she saw him there again without me around… It was bad enough being mistaken for his sister pretty regularly even without the beard, so with it, it was just too much. He promised me at that point that he would shave the beard, after his first day of school, he had to at least be able to show it to his friends on the first day, which I agreed to, as much as it killed me. Picking my battles…

So, now back to the “girls”. As it turned out, there was one, at home, who he was dying to see. He hadn’t told me that he liked her, but after the third time he mentioned her name, I had a clue. He had found a girl who played Xbox, the shooting games no less, with him and his friends, and they had been in touch through that for the entire summer. He came home a couple of weeks ago so he could start training for Cross Country, and he couldn’t make plans with her fast enough.

When he came home after his first time hanging out with her, he was all smiles and very chatty. He told me all about what they had been doing (watching The Notebook and playing Manhunt with their friends. Huh? Yep. Wow.) and all about her. She’s an athlete as well, a serious soccer player, which takes up a lot of her free time. She doesn’t drink or smoke pot, and neither do her friends. I am so liking this girl already! And then he tells me that she loved his hair, but hated the beard, and that he really should shave it, which he was seriously considering. After our conversation, I had to look her up on Facebook, just to see… I was shocked, she was adorable! Beautiful, and not a single slutty picture or any with that ridiculous pout that so many kids seem to have plastered all over their pages. Holy crap! Okay, is it still possible to arrange marriages in this day and age? Something to look into…

The next morning when I went to wake him up for practice, I almost fell over when I saw him. The beard was gone!!! And the hair was still there!! I was so happy I almost cried, my beautiful boy was back! He just smiled at me when he saw the look on my face, rolled over and asked for five more minutes. Sure baby, no problem. Nothing else was said about it, I was afraid to show too much excitement for fear of a possible future backlash. This battle was won not because of anything I said or did, but because of the words from a “girl”. Maybe this whole thing won’t be so bad after all…

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18 thoughts on “Girl Monsters

    • Thanks! I know this is just the beginning, kids sure keep life interesting! We do have a good relationship… most of the time 😉

    • Thanks! Yes, he’s a good kid, most of the time, LOL Other times, well, he makes me a little crazy! I’m working on a post that I’m having a real tough time with, i think it’s going to be called The Big Bad. Normally the name comes to me when I’m done, but this one has left my lips so many times as I’ve re-told this story to others that it’s the only name that fits. It’s pretty ugly, but it’s the last big bad thing that has led us to where we are now, needs to get told sometime. Since I am FINALLY making the time to answer my blog comments, I guess it’s kind of obvious that procrastination is one of my many skills, LOL.

  1. This is a great story. I love your rule about the facial hair being shorter than the head hair. As I was reading this I thought about my teenage self and how I was turned off by boys my age with beards, so it made me smile to read that the girl didn’t like the beard. And it does sound like you and your son have a really strong bond.

    • I was so happy when he told me what she said about the beard, it was all I could do to keep myself from jumping up and down and doing the disco happy dance! I knew if I had shown that kind of excitement the beard wouldn’t have gone anywhere! LOL

  2. LOL my husband was able to grow facial hair young as well, I never thought about telling my son he couldn’t, but I like the idea of asking it to be the same length… So exciting to hear about a first romance and that he is making good choices!

    • The rule made sense to me at the time, but I think it’s just because I didn ‘t know what else to say, LOL. He certainly does seem to have good taste in girls!

  3. What a great story. Your son sounds like a good kid! I’m nervous about the years when girls come into my son’s life (and he’s still a toddler). I hope I can be as graceful about it as you.

    • Thank you so much!! He is a good kid, and I’m still nervous too! Oh, that first heart break, I am seriously dreading that! So many things, so many worries and things to be nervous about, it’s hard to remember to just take it day by day, which you need to do so you don’t miss anything. I should probably get that as a tattoo to have the constant reminder…

  4. I’m so afraid my oldest daughter (of 3) is going to be a man-eater! I’m trying to teach her to be nice to boys. I fear she’ll eat ’em alive! Glad your son found one of the nice ones.

  5. I love this post! I don’t have any children yet, but I do have 17 year old brother who I am extremely protective of…he’s such a good boy, and I don’t want any bimbos around him either. I realize that eventually, I’m going to have to let it go…but not yet! LOL!

  6. oh my lord he is adorable! and YAY for the effect of a GIRL! I have four of them myself (all under 9 still!) but oh lawdy when they hit teenage years…picking battles is right!
    glad you got your way, however that had to come!

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